For those born without a sense of humour, Halopedia has an article on Type-25 Directed Energy Rifle.
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Cquote1That shit is HOT!Cquote2
Marine on the Plasma Rifle
Cquote1Not as hot as ME!Cquote2
— Marine on the heat of the Plasma Rifle
Cquote1Hang on, Type 25 Directed Energy Rifle. Plasma rifle. Which is it? Energy or plasma? And why the hell would a weapon that fires anything other than a solid bullet be rifled?Cquote2
— Someone who is a stickler for well designed universes addressing some technical issues with the nomenclature
Plasma rifle halo reach

the plasma rifle. the best things since your mother

The Plasma Rifle, is the older brother of the little Plasma Pistol, and are used by Elites, so when they get mad, they can shoot your balls off. It can outgun the little one, but its hot temper makes Plasma Rifle prone to getting mad and just refusing to help you kill the Covenant. The Plasma Rifle will always help the Covenant though, he will never get hot-headed towards them.

It works by super-heating balls of Gruntiness in a small chamber located who knows where on the gun. Then, by pulling the trigger you release the now angry gruntiness upon the world. The reason why it kills even the almighty grunts is because in its angry state it cannot tell grunts from everything else and DESTROYS ALL!!! Also the plasma rifle cannot take the stress of having itself filled with gruntiness again and so it cannot be reloaded. If you try to reload it it will stick itself with a Ball Grenade and a Spike Grenade promptly after burning itself with an Incendiary Bomb before realizing that it, like other weapons, is indestructible for some gay reason.

This rifle manages to overheat in the worst possible situations, such as when 294 elites are hungry and see only one armored human for food. In that case, plasma rifles are pieces of shit, although we do wonder why elites never manage to get the stuff overheated.

When the rifle overheats, you have a three second window of oppurtunity to roast marshmallows on it. This tactic is sometimes used by marines, but they usaully just burn there fingers.

It is sometimes used by n00bs when they run out of rockets.

The Plasma Rifle is useless to a human SPARTAN, but to any other creature, it is full of endless plasma and never heats up. These weapons are good for making your hands warm in the snow.

Maddislimane likes this gun :)

The PR also got it's design when a pervetred Assbiter saw 2 birds mating.

Instructions Edit

1. Aim at opposing enemy.

2. Hold down trigger until steam rises from gun.

3. Realize the enemy is still charging at you.

4. Blitz it like Usain Bolt!

What Not To Do with a Plasma Rifle Edit

1. Shoot yourself (obviously).

2. Try to defeat Chuck Norris (no one can ever do it, except the ones who can, Cougth *Cheif*Choke, weeze).

3. Try to achieve gruntiness.

4. Use it as a sex toy. The heat will seal you up down there.

Melee Weapons: Kitchen Knife | Japanese Butter Knife | Taser Stick

Handguns: Comfortable Pistol | Another Comfortable Pistol | WTF no scope? | M6C/Suck em' | God's Sidearm | Safety Mode On | Trusty Sidearm | Trusty Sidearm 2: Gradius | Assassination Pistol | Carbine Pistol | Silenced Pistol | Orbital Airstrike

Automatic & Semi-Automatic Weapons: Bullet Hose | Silent Bullet Spitter | Insult to Rifles | Revised Insult to Rifles | Chronologically Confusing insult to rifles | The insult to rifles that actually kicks ass | Bee-Arr | Bullet Spammer | Another insult to rifles | Large Bullet Hose

Other: HEADSHOT! | Pest Control Tool | Mini Missile Silo | Rocket Lawn chair | Splazer | Campergun | Noob Obliterator | Crude Thumper rip-off | Supersonic Rail Exploder | Exploding Cake Detonator | Kill The Hydra

Grenades: Damn, no stickies | Bang Grenade | Ear Bleeder | "I embrace y'all with napalm..."

Melee Weapons: Energy Shank | Hot Poker | Death Stick | Energy Shiv | Gravy Hammer | Monkey Fist | Monkey Shank

Other: Peashooter | Overheated | Angry Plasma Rifle | Overheater | Noobler | Larger Noobler | Long range Noobler | Nailgun | New Noob Combo | Rock Slinger | L337 5K1LL5 | Follow the pink light | Vacuum Quadlazer | Jelly Launcher | Semtex Blue Spider | Stick-rock | Fire in the Box

Heavy Weapons: Mini Blue Jelly Factory | Death impersonated | Godly Plasma Rifle | Huge Water Gun on Spaceships | Hax Gun | Smaller Hax Gun | Derp Gun | Magic Grenade Thrower

The Quadlazer | Zapper | Tracer Rifle | Yellow Light Spammer | Campergun's Retarded Brother | Triforce Gun | Promethean Glory | Forcefield | Bee Grenade